找几篇初中水平的英语幽默短文(带翻译) 越短越好 请帮我找一个短一点的英语笑话，是初中学生听得懂的
Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go slow".
老师:为什么你每天早晨都迟到?
汤姆:每当我经过学校的拐角处,就看见一个牌子上写着"学校----慢行".
英语幽默：Second language
A mother mouse was out for a stroll with her babies when she spotted a cat crouched behind a bush. She watched the cat, and the cat watched the mice.
Mother mouse barked fiercely, "Woof, woof, woof!" The cat was so terrified that it ran for it's life.
Mother mouse turned to her babies and said, "Now, do you understand the value of a second language?"
一只母老鼠带着孩子出来散步，突然她看见一只猫正在灌木丛中虎视耽耽。
母老鼠向着猫叫道：“汪，汪，汪”，猫听了非常害怕，拼命跑走了。
母老鼠回过头洋洋自得的对孩子说：“现在你知道外语的重要性了吧。”
Why not take down your nose?
Tom,aged five ,was curiously watching his grandpa playing with his false tooth,taking it down,washing and fixing again.He observed his grandpa doing that again,with full interest.Finallyasked his grandpa,''Well,what else are you doing?'"Well,"said little Tom,"Now you should take down you nose."
译：5岁的汤姆好奇地注视着爷爷摆弄假牙,取下来,冲洗,再安上.他看着爷爷一遍又一遍地做,觉着有趣极了.最后爷爷说:"好啦,还干什么?""恩,"小汤姆说,"现在该拿鼻子了.'
暂时只记起这一篇。
The best place I have ever visited
Do you like traveling ? I like it very much . And today ,I want to tell you about the best place I have ever visited ----xishuangbanan.
Have you ever been to xishuangbanan ? I think it's a wonderful place . There are many Dai people ,they have their own culture , the clothes are very colorful and beautiful ,the food is so delicious .They also have their own language . There are many characteristics . of course ,the scenery also wonderful , you can see the tropical rain forest and some wild animals , don't you think it can be very interesting ?
If you want to travel ,why not go to xishuangbanan? you will be satisfied with this place .
我去过的最好玩的地方
你喜欢旅游吗？我非常喜欢。今天，我想告诉你一个我去过的最好玩的地方-----西双版纳。
你去过西双版纳吗？我觉得那是一个很不错的地方。那里有许多傣族人，他们有属于自己的文化，他们的服饰很漂亮，色彩丰富；他们的食物美味极了；他们还有自己的语言。有很多有特色的东西。当然，那里的风景也很棒，你可以看到热带雨林和一些野生动物，你不觉得那样会很有趣吗？
如果你想去旅游，为什么不选择西双版纳呢？你会对那个地方满意的！
找一篇初中水平的英语幽默短文(带翻译)~
我也有~!
英语幽默：Second language
A mother mouse was out for a stroll with her babies when she spotted a cat crouched behind a bush. She watched the cat, and the cat watched the mice.
Mother mouse barked fiercely, "Woof, woof, woof!" The cat was so terrified that it ran for it's life.
Mother mouse turned to her babies and said, "Now, do you understand the value of a second language?"
一只母老鼠带着孩子出来散步，突然她看见一只猫正在灌木丛中虎视耽耽。
母老鼠向着猫叫道：“汪，汪，汪”，猫听了非常害怕，拼命跑走了。
母老鼠回过头洋洋自得的对孩子说：“现在你知道外语的重要性了吧。”
这里有几个英语笑话,希望你喜欢:
1.
Mother: Freddie, why is your face so red?
Freddie: I was running up the street to stop a fight.
Mother: That's a very nice thing to do. Who was fighting?
Freddie: Me and Jackie Smith.
妈妈：弗雷迪，你的脸为什么那么红？
弗雷迪：我刚才在大街上跑，为的是阻止一次打架？
妈妈：你做的对，谁和谁在打架。
弗雷迪：我和杰克·史密斯。
2.
Tom: William has asked me for a loan of five pounds. Should I be doing right in lending it to him?
Jack: Certainly.
Tom: And why?
Jack: Because otherwise he would try to borrow it from me.
汤姆：威廉向我借五英镑。我该不该借给他？
杰克：当然应该了。
汤姆：为什么？
杰克：否则他就该跟我借了。
3.
Mother: Why are you jumping up and down?
Tom: I've just taken some medicine and I forgot to shake the bottle.
妈妈：你为什么不停地跳上跳下的？
汤姆：我刚吃完药，可我忘了先摇动瓶子了
4.
One evening I drove my husband's car to the shopping mall.
On my return, I noticed that how dusty the outside of his car was and cleaned it up a bit.When I finally entered the house, I called out.'The woman who loves you the most in the world just cleaned your headlights and windshield.'
My husband looked up and said, 'Mom's here?'
一天晚上我开着丈夫的车去购物，回来后发现车身沾满灰尘，于是擦洗了一阵。当我终于走进屋里时大声喊：“世界上最爱你的女人刚擦洗了你的车灯和挡风玻璃。”
我丈夫抬头看了看，说：“妈妈来了？”
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