求一位高中英语老师帮我批改一下这篇作文。。。 可以帮我批改一下这篇英语作文吗
Ladies and gentlemen,
I'm Li Hua from China. It's my great honor to be be chosen to represent Chinese studnets to attend World Water Party .The topic of my speech is "No water, no life .
As is known to us all ,water is the foundation of life, which plays a significant role in our life. We can't live without it .For example , we must use it to wash our hands and faces. We also have to drink it every day for our health . Farmers need it to irrigate their fields . Factories need it to produce goods .
But nowadays, you will find water is extravagantly wasted.here and there . People tend to use water without realizing it is limited . They often use water at an excessive amount and thus much water is wasted.
It's shocking to see how severe the pollution can be. With the rapid development of industry,many factories have produced many lethal chemicals and poured them into the water , causing deaths of fishes, aquatic animals as well as plants. People living by the river also throw waste into the river , therefore the water is polluted little by little .
So it is high time that we took measures to prevent this situation from deteriorating. Firstly, our government should ban those factories which have produced many pollutants and pass a law to limit how many pollutants one factory can produce. Secondly, as individuals, we can use less water and stop polluting it.
I hope one day this situation will get better.
整篇文章文笔不错，写的很好。我感觉在文章段落衔接上下点儿功夫，整篇文章稍微散一点。高级词汇可适当运用，否则由于运用不熟练，造成文章不流畅。多运用高中学习中的句式：倒装、虚拟语气、从句等，会在阅卷中给教师一个好的印象。
祝学习进步，天天快乐！
您好！
您的文章结构很合理，经典句型引用的比较到位，给您赞一个！
但是有些生僻词汇 在您的高中学习阶段出现的几率极低
文章中需要稍稍改动的有：
一段一句 my speech 后 today去掉
二段一句a significant 改为更便于理解的 an important 二句 can't wash 后 our 去掉
三段一句的被动语态引用的相当棒， is extravagantly wasted 可以改为便于理解的 is wasted seriously
四段一句the pollution 直接跟is 去掉can be
四段二句and 到 ignored 表述不明确，建议去掉
四段三句 into the wather 后可以加 without dealing 逗号去掉 改为which引导的定语从句 修饰限定前面的致死化学物 which can cause the death of fishes
五段一句that we must take measures 您的整篇文章是采用的一般现在时，这里的took建议用原形
五段二句整个句子可以用一个复合句进行调整，政府需要通过法律不仅去惩罚那些制造严重污染的工厂，而且还要限定他们每天的污染制造量。
The goverment should pass a law which not only to punish the factories who makes pollutions seriously but also to limit the pollutions they can made each day.
五段三句，we can use less water这句跟上句联系不是十分紧凑，我推断您的意思是想说同时我们生活中也要注意节约用水吧，那么建议您该句改为：we must save water by many ways in our daily life, we should stop wasting and polluting it.
望采纳！
Ladies andgentlemen,
(Good afternoon.)I'm Li Huafrom China. It's my great honor to be here. The topic of my speech today is"No water, no life."
As the foundation of life, water plays a significant role inour life. We can't wash our hand without water. (这几句之间分号更佳）We can't drinkwithout water. What's worse(To make it worse),without water, we can't even live(其实前面已经提了“as the foundation of life”，总觉得表意重复).
But(However,) nowadays, wateris extravagantly wasted. People tend to use water without knowing exactly whatthey are going to do with it(表意明确一些为好：without knowing how much exactlythey need). They often usewater at an excessive amount and thus much water is wasted.
It's shocking to see how severe the pollution can be. Withthe rapid development of industry and the responsibilities people refuse totake being ignored, many factories have produced many lethal chemicals and pouredthem into the water, causing deaths of fishes, (other)aquatic animals as well as plants.
So it is high time that we took(take)measures to prevent this situation from deteriorating. Firstly, our government should ban those factories which have produced many pollutants(produce不是问题所在，而是discharge才是问题所在) and pass a lawto limit how many (restrain the quantity and types of)pollutantsone factory can produce(discharge). Secondly, asindividuals, we can (save water by cutting the use ofit)use less water and stop polluting it(stop不可能，从逻辑上来讲应该是try to avoid contaminating it).
I hope one day this situation(最好指明是什么situation, 因为这是结尾段) will get better (with all our effort).
鄙人不是老师，不过修改之处你可以借鉴借鉴。
作文的要求，个点都答全了。整个作文分段构思也不错。需要提高的就是以下几点：
尝试避免出现太多重复的字眼，比如pollute可以用contaminate替换，污水也可以说drainage，词汇看得出有用心，还可以继续提高。
逻辑上不够严谨。如就算工厂会产生污水，不意味着它会排放污水，万一它由良好的净水系统呢？我能理解作者的意思，可是正如文中所标示的一些东西，总觉得读起来思维不顺畅。
以上都是个人愚见，祝学习天天向上！
也许你可以试试句酷批改网
麻烦英语老师帮我批改一下作文~
我也碰到了类似的问题：作文无处批改。后来朋友介绍了新东方批改网，竟然可以在24小时内回复！改得贼仔细，还有很多建议。呵呵！
Should we help strangers? （即使是标题也不用每个单词都大写，你又不是专业论文）
【大写的明显是我改的】
AT A YOUNG AGE, we WERE taught to help AS MANY PEOPLE as we can, no matter HOW LITTLE DO WE KNOW THEM.
Recently, there are increasing number of people SPOKE OUT against THIS TEACHING/IDEA. Whether OR NOT we should help strangers ONCE AGAIN BECAME a question (OR BETTER YET: BECAME A DEBATE).
Some people claimed that it is always a good quality for people to help OTHERS. They INsist that if we can help each other and care for each other, we can RESOLVE with many problems by ourselves rather than RELY ON the government. Our society needs love. Everyone SHOULD not want to be LEFT alone when in trouble just because you are a stranger.
People who VOTE FOR not helpING strangers have their own reasons. Recently there are many instances about people who helpED OLD PEOPLE THEY MET ON THE STREET but WERE IN TURN SUED BY THE PEOPLE THEY HELPED. You MIGHT have a good heart (OR BETTER YET: YOUR INTENTIONS WERE GOOD), but helping strangers do have potential riskS.
As far as I am concerned, helping others is a traditional virtue. We can't give it up because of some BAD PEOPLE. If we have a warm heart and IF WE ARE sincere, we will have the power to solve the problem (WHAT PROBLEM?).
纯度很高的Chinglish，逻辑性还可以，性格和我一样，写到结论的时候就没耐心了，conclusion满分5分的话最多3分。全文满分一百的话，你自己看看我改了多少了，这要让我高中老师判的话，能55（D）就不错了。
求一位高中英语老师帮我批改一下这篇作文。。。
答：we must use it to wash our hands and faces. We also have to drink it every day for our health . Farmers need it to irrigate their fields . Factories need it to produce goods .But
帮我批改一篇高中英语作文
答：we are going to hold a special party for ..., At the party,不是on. cut the birthday cake 不是cut up(切碎)，you should 不妥，改成you'd better, he will be surprised.不是surprise.
高中英语教师如何写作文评语
答：在学习上,积极、主动,能按时完成老师布置的作业,经过努力,各科成绩都有明显进步,你有较强的思维能力和学习领悟力,学习也有计划性,但在老师看来,你的潜力还没有完全发挥出来,学习上还要有持久的恒心和顽强的毅力. 【综合评语】你的肩上承载着班级的荣誉、家长的希望、老师的期望;你用切实的行动诠释了什么是责任感...
这是我写的一篇高考英语作文,请您为我批改一下!O(∩_∩)O谢谢
答：3 Time goes by 前面要加as，这样他才是一个状语，否则就是一个句子，后面就不能是句号。或者也可以在it may lead to 前面加and。4 it may leads to 这样可不行哦。may后面要跟动词原形。5 同样最后一句“，so in order to live a better life ,it is vital to stop using disposable chop...
高中英语批改网心得 [高中英语作业的布置类型和批改]
答：下面我就高中英语学科的作业设计和批改，谈谈自己的看法和体会：一、作业的布置类型 现代英语教学大纲提出，义务教育阶段英语课程的目的是激发和培养学生的学习兴趣，帮助学生树立自信心，养成良好的学习习惯，发展自主的学习能力，形成有效的学习策略；使学生掌握一定的英语基本知识和基本技能，培养初步语感，...
教师怎样批改学生英语作文
答：目前，高中学生的英语作文都是上交任课教师批改，教师在学生的作文上写下简单的评语或打上一个标志性的分数，发还学生，个别教师可能会进行范文分析。笔者经常遇到的情况是：由于教师批改作文工作量较大，耗时较长，等到学生拿到作文本时，差不多已经遗忘了文章的内容，完全没有阅读教师评语的兴趣。对于...
高中英语教学反思3篇
答：下面是我为大家整理的高中英语教学反思,希望对大家有所帮助。 高中英语教学反思篇一 本学期,我按照新课改的要求,在学校领导的带领下,我不仅在教学上有所提高,在业务水平上也有了不小的进步。立足现在,放眼未来,为使今后的工作取得更大的进步,现对本学期 教学 工作 总结 如下: 一、注意高一与初中的衔接过渡 ...
请英语达人帮忙批改高中英语作文,谢谢啦
答：at 都好，就是不能用in.in the party是已入党的意思。至于第2句，你可以改成An English party will be hold by our Students"Union on Mid-Autumn Festival from 7:30 to 9:30 on the playground in our school.第4句，It will let us to be excited 希望能帮到你。作文好好练 ...
如何批改高三英语作文
答：南昌县莲塘一中余敬升 高中阶段，由于大多数学生的英语功底并不十分深厚，所以写出的作文往往不能够清楚地表达本人的意思，有些甚至是不堪入目。有些老师为了不让自己在看学生作文的时候“犯心脏病”，干脆就不布置作文。如此以来，进入高三的学生往往在作文上丢分不少。更可怕的是，由于长期以来的不重视...
高中帮老师批班里英语小考分好吗
答：好。帮老师批英语小考对答题规范性有很大提升，清楚了改卷评分原则，答题技巧更明确，能领悟每个同学的答题技巧，所以帮老师批改英语小考分数很好。
